I guess I just want to start fresh. My old blog... was old. I think some things need to change with in me. Things need to refocus. It hard to do. I don't even know where to start. I've been hurt too many times this year. I don't even know how it all started. What is in me that drives all this bitterness? I don't think I am any worse than the rest... but, than again, who knows. Is it that I don't deserve a good friend? Do I not deserve understanding? Or is it that I can't be tolerant in the same ways I expect from others. I don't know!
Its all very confusing... its all very sad.
This next year, I need to just pray for roommates that will love me for who I am. I hope to make good friends. I guess, I have learned to rely on God and not on my friends. I've learned that being alone isn't the most horrible thing in the world. I survived last year. I survived rejection. This year, I hope to make friends that will be mine through out my adult life. I don't think I'm being unrealistic. I just ask for atleast one good girl friend
I think what I really want to do is get my plans rolling. I know God is called me to do something amazing... I'm starting to get hints of it. I think what is holding me back is me. I'm so lazy. How can I tell people to read their bibles when I have slipped up? How can I? Its all in the air right now. I think I'm going to go get started. I hope that this blog will keep my hopes and dreams. I hope that I will remember to post in it my prayers and expectations...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment