Let me Sign by Robert Pattinson

Ooh Standing by a broken tree

Her hands are all twisted,

She's pointing at me,

I was damned by the light comin'

Over all as she

Spoke with a voice that,

disrupted the sky.

She said, "Walk on over, yeah to this bit of shade,

I will wrap you in my arms"

And she said,"

Let me sign,

let me sign."

I'm thinking about starting a new blog.

This blog is kind of drama-ish... and I would like to release another blog to the general public and probably use this one to write more personal stuff. :) I'll let you know what the link is later.

I've been feeling very discontent lately. What is next? I'm tired of being patient. I'm tired of running non stop. I'm waiting to find out what life is going to hold for me... waiting to find my impact, and yet I have no found it yet. I hope my prime isn't gone. It is sad to think that maybe the reason I'm not great at anything is because I'll die early without leaving my mark on the world. Wow that's a very depressing thought... I'm a very insignificant speck on this earth. so minute... and yet, supposedly special. Who knows.

In Excelsis Deo by Roper

This wooden soul of mine
It cannot ever climb
From places it has fallen
In between where light can shine
It never falls in line
It barely has a spine
Like branches severed from the vine
Like it was faulty by design
And now your mercy lights up my dark eyes
Your brilliant hope now lifts my falling skies
And I'm the object of your affection
You loved me still in my imperfection

[Chorus:]
The sun will shine on winter snow
And shadows fade in Excelsis Deo

This wooden soul is old
It's lies are growing cold
Its knotted trunk is straightening
Its roots are loosening their hold
So cluttered with debris
This inefficient melody
I'll keep waiting patiently
If this world will ever release me
You love me even though I am untrue
If I was perfect, I wouldn't need you
I'm the object of your affection
You loved me still in my imperfection

Gloria, in excelsis Deo
Not so far, not so far to go

My annual end of the year sum-up survey :)

1. Go to a party? Actually quite a few this year :) I'm very popular haha jk
2. Try something new? hmm I started working my first full time job/career thing :) Its still pretty new :)
3. Have something change your life? My life is still in the in between graduating and career, but, definitely having a full time job has impacted my life a lot. I'm an ever evolving human being. Just when I think I've become an adult and have things together, something comes around and changes me. :) Its kind of cool this growing up thing. I never thought graduating would change me so much.
4. Kiss someone? Yep. :)
5. Tell your family and friends you love them? I come from a very verbal family. We aren't ashamed to flat out say, "I love you" :) Its kind of cute
6. Buy something extravagant? Well, yes I bought my beautiful, iphone 3G and I also, most recently, stayed a weekend in a 4 star hotel on the strip. It was amazing! :) oh, and as usual, I bought my disneyland pass which set me back 260 dollars... plus 50 dollar parking pass. Easily, the best money I spent this year though (besides my phone) :)
7. Do something nice for you? I try to treat myself more often now that I have a job, which usually consists of me treating people around me too. :) I can't enjoy myself without my friends right along side of me. :)
8. Do something terribly wrong? I'm a perfect little angel, though I'm sure that I have broken a few hearts this year.
9. Move? For the first time in a long time, no! I didn't move! yay!
10. Go to a concert? Most recently, I saw The English Beat :) And, it was by far one of the best concerts I've ever been too! :)

Best of the Year:
1. Party:
2. Show: I'm loving Heroes and Grey's Anatomy... of course the same as last year :)
3. CD: well, as you should know, when I love a cd, I listen to it non-stop until I know everything about it... :) This year, I've been playing my The Smiths - Greatest Hits. Probably too much, actually :)
4. Movie: My favorite movie in the theater I will admit has been Twilight. I'm not one of those crazy twilight fans... but, it compelled me to read the book and that actually made a profound impact on how I see things... suprisingly. Probably doesn't happen to everyone who reads it... but it was definitely influential in my current mood.
5. Song: Currently, Flightless Bird, American Mouth by Iron and Wine... but, not for political reasons. :)
6. Experience: I guess so far it has been growing up and experiencing my first full-time job... its nothing like I expected.
7. Concert: English Beat/B Sharps :) It was AMAZING! :)
8. Book: So far a cross between Eclipse and Twilight... :) Again, it is weird how such a simple book can be so influential on my state of mind. :) I also really enjoyed reading The Time Machine... which was also good for my state of mind at the time.
9. Month: March
10. Day: 17th

Worst of the Year:
1. Party: It was a party that I'd rather not talk about. It was one of the most terrible experiences of my life... back in October. :(
2. Show: What the heck is up with that redneck wedding show... are you kidding me?
3. CD: Listening to Erick's Rockabiliy faze has become a bit much for me to handle.
4. Movie: I know there has to be one... but, I'm not as critical about things as I use to be. Things still bug me... a few specific things, but mostly I've just let things go.
5. Song: haha maybe I'm completely disconnected from current trends, but I really can't think of one hehe :)
6. Experience: There have been a few strained relationships this year. It was very hard on me... I don't talk about it much... but, things have been said and done that hurt me a lot.
7. Concert: hmm... I can't imagine myself going to a bad show to be honest. :)
8. Book: hmm... haven't read anything I didn't enjoy. One of the very nice things about being graduated.
9. Month: probably June.
10. Day: I don't remember one specific day

Hopes for 2009:
1. Predict something that you think will happen in 2009? I hope the economy changes... but, I don't see that happening in the near future. Its a very sad thing actually.
2. What do you hope changes about your country? I hope that unemployment rates go up and that we avoid screwing up everything we did with international policy in the last 8 years.
3. What do you hope for yourself? I hope that I will find a job in the County Counsel's office and get married :)
4. What do you hope for your family? I pray for the brand new addition to my family. :)
5. What do you hope for your best friend? I hope he is able to be happy working full time. I think he is very use to a stressfree life of school and sleep... It might be a shock having to be depended on... but, I know he can do it. :)
6. What do you hope for the rest of your friends? I hope they live very miserably! of course! :)
7. Do you think any amazing medical advances will be made? hmm... probably not anything that will be applied to the general public. :)