Haven't posted in a WHILE! :)

Robert Pattinson - Never Think
I should never think
What's in your heart
What's in our home
So I won't




You'll learn to hate me
But still call me baby
Oh love
So call me by my name




And save your soul
Save your soul
Before you're too far gone
Before nothing can be done




I'll try to decide when
She'll lie in the end
I ain't got no fight in me
In this whole damn world
Tell you to hold off
You choose to hold on
It's the one thing that I've known




Once I put my coat on
I'm coming out in this all wrong
She's standing outside holding me
Saying oh please
I'm in love
I'm in love



Girl save your soul
Go on save your soul
Before it's too far gone
And before nothing can be done



'Cause without me
You got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Hold on

Becoming a citizen :)

Apparently I could become a citizen according to the Ellis Island website. :)
100% You got 20 out of 20 correct.
Congratulations! Now you can try your luck with the remaining quizzes!
Not that the questions were incredibly hard... though I know for a fact I only knew the answer to some of them because I diligently pay attention in class. :)

Any who... what's new with me? I got a new job... everyone knows about it. It has sort of reminded me that I should probably do something more in my field... otherwise I'm beginning to dread going to work. I'm sure the information I get to hear about the county surveying would be incredibly interesting to someone else... to me, it is extremely boring. Mostly, since we all know I'm not a science buff (and that I absolutely hate science classes), I have my issues with retaining the information, though I feel I'm doing pretty well considering who is training me. Any who... it has inspired me to begin look toward specific jobs in my field. I just applied for a position at the American Museum of Natural History in New York. Erick would move out there in a heart beat. And, there is a couple of museums out here that I would love to work at, though I would probably have to move closer... Riverside is too far a drive. Maybe, I could take the metrolink? Either way, I'm looking into possibly moving toward something I love. Though, it is very nice having the expectation of money. I think my first pay check is going to be around 700 after taxes... which is pretty good for me considering I didn't work a full 2 weeks.
I do plan on blowing a very small part of that celebrating at probably dave and busters or the yardhouse... please see me if you want to go out October 10th bar hoping or doing something fabulous, but not that expensive. If you have enough for a one beer, you have enough to hang out. :)

Any who... I'm extactic. :D

Relient K - Up and Up

"Up And Up"

Yesterday
Is not quite what it could've been
As were most of all the days before
But I swear today
With every breath I'm breathing in
I'll be trying to make it so much more

Cause it seems I get so hung up on
The history of what's gone wrong
And the hope of a new day
Is sometimes hard to see (what you see)
And though I'm finally catching onto it
And now the past is just a conduit
And the light there at the end is
Where I'll be

Cause I'm on the up and up
I'm on the up and up
And I haven't given up
Given up on what
I know I'm capable of
And I'm on the up and up
I'm on the up and up
Yeah there's nothing left to prove
Cause I'm just trying to be
A better version of me
For you
A better version of me
For you

To be prosperous
Would not require much of me
You see contentment is the one thing
It entails
To be content with where I am
And getting where I need to be
I'm moving past the past
Where I have failed

But I'm finally catching onto it
And now the past is just a conduit
Right there at the end
Is where I'll be
Oh

Cause I'm on the up and up
I'm on the up and up
And I haven't given up
Given up on what
What I've gained from love
And I'm on the up and up
I'm on the up and up
Yeah there's nothing left to prove
Cause I'm just trying to be
A better version of me
For you
A better version of me
For you

You never cease
To supply me with
What I need
For a good life
So when I'm down
I'll hold my head up high
Cause you're the reason why

I'm on the up and up
I'm on the up and up
And I haven't given up
Given up on what
What I've gained from love
And I'm on the up and up
I'm on the up and up
Yeah there's nothing left to prove
Cause I'm just trying to be
A better version of me
For you
(Trying to be a better version of me for you)
Oh

Olympics

haha am I the only one who didn't know that the Olympics has a shooting event. haha I'm sorry but, I think its the funniest thing ever in like a cool way.
I knew that shooters have to literally control every muscle in their body... their breathing, their non-shooting eye, etc... We studied it when we talked about the JFK shootings... but, any way... I just watched the women's air rifle, which I have to say is freaking cute and cool and what ever :D woo woo! :)

3:45 am - pmsing and tears.

I am extremely upset right now. I can't sleep knowing I am expected to go to bed feeling like this. I can't sleep knowing that I'm apparently the only one not able to sleep.

I feel broken.

I feel like someone stabbed me in the heart and then blamed it on me.

I feel completely alone in the world.

I feel really hopeless.

Myers Briggs - ENFJ

According to Wikipedia...

Extraverted feeling types seek continuity through harmonious relationships and collective values. They excel at picking up on the tone of a situation and acting accordingly, adding warmth to a cool setting or turning sour into sweet. They naturally seek to know what people do well, what they enjoy, and where and how they work. They seem to have an infinite number of acquaintances from all walks of life and are always on the lookout for people in need and those who can help out. ENFJs weave and strengthen the collective fabric of social conventions and interactions. Inclusiveness is important and they are particularly sensitive to those who are excluded.

ENFJs focus on others, feeling a glow when those around them are happy, and troubled when something is amiss. They are natural cheerleaders, often expressing support, gratitude, and encouragement, and heaping praise onto those they appreciate. They take note of what is being done and what needs doing, offering their assistance wherever necessary.

ENFJs enjoy organizing group activities and tend to take their commitments seriously. In general, they are reliable and do not like to disappoint others. As team players and project leaders, they have a gift for rallying their players, focusing on what is being done right and each member's strengths. They are loyal and they expect loyalty. They carry conversations well, finding common ground with their speaker. They tend to find the correct and gracious way to respond in any given situation, no matter how tense or uncomfortable it is.

Extraverted feeling types will uphold a wide range of values, simply because shared values are what create harmony. Some will profess the importance of tough-minded logic, justice and scholarly debate because their environments have these shared values. They tend to adopt the collective values of those they love and 'belong to'.

According to some other website...

ENFJs are the benevolent 'pedagogues' of humanity. They have tremendous charisma by which many are drawn into their nurturant tutelage and/or grand schemes. Many ENFJs have tremendous power to manipulate others with their phenomenal interpersonal skills and unique salesmanship. But it's usually not meant as manipulation -- ENFJs generally believe in their dreams, and see themselves as helpers and enablers, which they usually are.

ENFJs are global learners. They see the big picture. The ENFJs focus is expansive. Some can juggle an amazing number of responsibilities or projects simultaneously. Many ENFJs have tremendous entrepreneurial ability.

ENFJs are, by definition, Js, with whom we associate organization and decisiveness. But they don't resemble the SJs or even the NTJs in organization of the environment nor occasional recalcitrance. ENFJs are organized in the arena of interpersonal affairs. Their offices may or may not be cluttered, but their conclusions (reached through feelings) about people and motives are drawn much more quickly and are more resilient than those of their NFP counterparts.

ENFJs know and appreciate people. Like most NFs, (and Feelers in general), they are apt to neglect themselves and their own needs for the needs of others. They have thinner psychological boundaries than most, and are at risk for being hurt or even abused by less sensitive people. ENFJs often take on more of the burdens of others than they can bear.

TRADEMARK: "The first shall be last"

This refers to the open-door policy of ENFJs. One ENFJ colleague always welcomes me into his office regardless of his own circumstances. If another person comes to the door, he allows them to interrupt our conversation with their need. While discussing that need, the phone rings and he stops to answer it. Others drop in with a 'quick question.' I finally get up, go to my office and use the call waiting feature on the telephone. When he hangs up, I have his undivided attention!

Functional Analysis:

Extraverted Feeling

Extraverted Feeling rules the ENFJ's psyche. In the sway of this rational function, these folks are predisposed to closure in matters pertaining to people, and especially on behalf of their beloved. As extraverts, their contacts are wide ranging. Face-to-face relationships are intense, personable and warm, though they may be so infrequently achieved that intimate friendships are rare.

Introverted iNtuition

Like their INFJ cousins, ENFJs are blessed through introverted intuition with clarity of perception in the inner, unconscious world. Dominant Feeling prefers to find the silver lining in even the most beggarly perceptions of those in their expanding circle of friends and, of course, in themselves. In less balanced individuals, such mitigation of the unseemly eventually undermines the ENFJ's integrity and frequently their good name. In healthier individuals, deft use of this awareness of the inner needs and desires of others enables this astute type to win friends, influence people, and avoid compromising entanglements.

The dynamic nature of their intuition moves ENFJs from one project to another with the assurance that the next one will be perfect, or much more nearly so than the last. ENFJs are continually looking for newer and better solutions to benefit their extensive family, staff, or organization.

Extraverted Sensing

Sensing is extraverted. ENFJs can manage details, particularly those necessary to implement the prevailing vision. These data have, however, a magical flexible quality. Something to be bought can be had for a song; the same something is invaluable when it's time to sell. (We are not certain, but we suspect that such is the influence of the primary function.) This wavering of sensory perception is made possible by the weaker and less mature status with which the tertiary is endowed.

Introverted Thinking

Introverted Thinking is least apparent and most enigmatic in this type. In fact, it often appears only when summoned by Feeling. At times only in jest, but in earnest if need be, Thinking entertains as logical only those conclusions which support Feeling's values. Other scenarios can be shown invalid or at best significantly inferior. Such "Thinking in the service of Feeling" has the appearance of logic, but somehow it never quite adds up.

Introverted Thinking is frequently the focus of the spiritual quest of ENFJs. David's lengthiest psalm, 119, pays it homage. "Law," "precept," "commandment," "statute:" these essences of inner thinking are the mysteries of Deity for which this great Feeler's soul searched.

Famous ENFJs:

David, King of Israel
U.S. Presidents:
Abraham Lincoln
Ronald Reagan

William Cullen Bryant, poet
Abraham Maslow, psychologist and proponent of self-actualization
Ross Perot
Sean Connery
Elizabeth Dole
Francois Mitterand
Dick Van Dyke
Andy Griffith
James Garner
William Aramony, former president of United Way
Gene Hackman (Superman, Antz)
Dennis Hopper (Speed)
Brenda Vaccaro
Craig T. Nelson (Coach)
Diane Sawyer (Good Morning America)
Randy Quaid (Bye Bye, Love; Independence Day)
Tommy Lee Jones (The Fugitive)
Kirstie Alley ("Cheers," Look Who's Talking movies)
Michael Jordan, NBA basketball player
Johnny Depp (Pirates of the Caribbean)
Oprah Winfrey
Bob Saget America's Funniest Home Videos, Full House
Julia Louis-Dreyfus ("Seinfeld")
Ben Stiller (The Royal Tenenbaums)
Peyton Manning, Indianapolis Colts quarterback
Matthew McConaughey (The Wedding Planner)
Pete Sampras, Tennis Champion
Lauren Graham ("Gilmore Girls")
Ben Affleck (The Sum Of All Fears)
John Cusack (High Fidelity)

Fictional ENFJs:

Joe Hackett, Wings

I think most of this is true. I liked the one that they give out at CBU better... it discusses both the good and bad qualities of each personality... but, overall, I think this personality really does hit it on the head.

a coded message of annoyance

There is not a whole lot I can say on this thing because I can't make it private. But, sometimes I feel like I avoid telling people what I'm annoyed about just so I don't make people mad.
There are a couple things in the world that make me uber annoyed. Things that are no one's business about me... mostly things that people act like they know everything about.
And, to clear the air... this has nothing to do with any of my previous blogs. This is something that people around me a lot know bugs me... but, people who I have told to stop... never stop.
If that makes sense?
I hope it doesn't, and don't try and read into it because that will be another very annoying action.

Maybe its because I'm pmsing? I don't think that's just it. I just wish people wouldn't enforce their life ideas on me. I'll figure it out on my own. It has nothing to do with me being stubborn... it has everything to do with the fact that you don't know me that well, and obviously don't know me well enough to be making a decision on my behalf. If I need advice, I'll ask someone who's opinion I value because they know me well enough to make that opinion.
I'm talking in circles.
The end.

Eh maybe my last blog was misunderstood? It was a rant that started as a comment, but once I realized it drifted off subject, I turned it into a blog.
So when you read it, don't read it as a response but as a blog... One that just says that I have no idea what should happen, just that there are a handful of people that should not have guns.
I definitely don't think it should be dealt with on a federal level, but probably on a state level.
I don't think it is too much to ask for when it comes to the idea of training. If you want a gun, you should know how to use it. You have to have a license to drive... Hours are racked in practice driving... But for a gun? Who knows what they require.
I'm not petending to know. My point is that I, as an individual, believe that there are some people who should not have guns. Its not even the majority of people. But, one fatality sucks and I had to take a test and training to own a gun, I would be happy to... Know I could be saving some one's life.
Just my thoughts.

A decidedly too long comment to a friends blog... :)

I think there is one thing about your blog that might be a little misunderstood about our founding fathers. Though they understood the problem with corrupt government... they also understand the idea of mob mentality (the slogan coined since the writing of our constitution and amendments). The very idea of the senate protects us from the majority taking over. Our bureaucratic government moves slowly because of it. In classical political philosophy (where we got much of our founding ideas from) a democratic government was coined as bad (and ranked along side oligarchy and tyranny) because it put too much power into the hands of the majority, which was considered to be unaware of their actions and how it may effect other classes and other forms of society. This was kind of proved true when you examine the prohibition era. The mob spoke and won... and then look what happened.
Any way... back to what I was saying. It is because of this our founding fathers built also built protections for itself. We are not just a democratic government... but we also have forms of a monarchy(President) and a aristocracy(congress) built into our very foundation.

Moving back to main point... after a deal of history, It is easy for someone to say that they have the right to own a gun and use it when the time arises... and namely when their government is not protecting them. However, this is exactly when we should examine the groups of people that might abuse this type of system. Lets say that every gay American got up and said "America is not treating me like a human and giving me my right of free speech and expression". In this case, they might justify to themselves why they need to hold a violent protest trying to overrun the government because it has become "corrupted" with evangelical Christians. I think that in this case you might see the importance of a slight control over the use of guns. I definitely do not like the idea of people just owning a gun without first being taught how to use it; maybe even with a personality test to accompany it.
Most importantly, I have no idea how it should be taken care of. I just know that though we have a right to protect ourselves from outside forces, as well as inside, it is also important to realize that I might need protection from my bi-polar neighbor... and that protection might just be not allowing them to have a gun at all.

And to tie in all of my history, I don't really believe that our founding fathers had the idea that the right to bare arms was solely for our protection from corruption... because they obviously realized that corruption occur in the hands of the people, as well. I mean, we couldn't even vote for our senators until the late 1800s. We are still not really voting for president, our electorial system takes care of that. And, more specifically, our amendments were added after our constitution as a way to appease the masses (or states needed to join).

I think this was a bit ranty. I didn't realize that I learned that much from my political philosophy classes. But, I guess I did.

Adiue

I've spent the last couple of days really loving this song.

Chris Tomlin - Glorious

We lift our hands in praise to You
We lift in our hearts in worship to You, Lord
You Lord
We lift our voice to You and sing
Our greatest love will ever be You, Lord

Glorious
Over us
You shall reign
Glorious

There is a King that we adore
With humble hearts we bow before You, Lord
There is a place we long to be
Face to face we long to see You, Lord

Majesty and power
Are Yours alone forever

haha ok... I love this song... but, it is so emo! BTW I don't feel this way

The Smiths - Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now

I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour
But heaven knows i'm miserable now

I was looking for a job, and then i found a job
And heaven knows i'm miserable now


In my life
Why do i give valuable time
To people who don't care if i live or die ?


Two lovers entwined pass me by
And heaven knows i'm miserable now


I was looking for a job, and then i found a job
And heaven knows i'm miserable now


In my life
Oh, why do i give valuable time
To people who don't care if i live or die ?


What she asked of me at the end of the day
Caligula would have blushed


"oh, you've been in the house too long" she said
And i (naturally) fled


In my life
Why do i smile
At people who i'd much rather kick in the eye ?


I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour
But heaven knows i'm miserable now


"oh, you've been in the house too long" she said
And i (naturally) fled


In my life
Oh, why do i give valuable time

haha I have no idea what to write... but, I just realized that my blog sometimes sounds depressed... I should really remember to not only write in it when I've been having a bad day. It makes things sound bad. haha!
I'm not depressed... to reassure you all.
Erick and I are fine... Most blogs I write about him are before we work things out and clear up many many misunderstandings.

Any who... back to homework.

Jessika has watched far too many episodes of the Gilmore Girls :D

haha I'm so in love with the character Jess on Gilmore Girls. I love him! :) Now he is on Heroes and I love him there too :)
Ok well... I heart Jess...
That is all

I'm in one of those ranting... some what evil ranting mood. I wrote a blog which I eventually had to just save and not post because it was too ranty.
I suppose people are just stupid to me today. It might be because I'm pmsing... but, really. People are stupid. They can't take care of themselves. Its like grow up already!
I know I'm one that needs to grow up. But, I'm still figuring out who I am... and I don't have any responsibilities. If I was married already... then you all could tell me to just settle and figure it out later. But, since I'm not married... and btw, don't plan on it until I have things settled... I think I'm better off than most.
Any who... I think I'm going to end this here... I listen to Loveline last night... and I probably shouldn't have because it just made me irritated with all those stupid people in the world!
You are stupid, Stupid people!!! :D

I was going to write a blog... but, now I'm too irritated to write anything insightful.

an exestential crisis

"If there were not meaning to the universe we never would have discovered there was a meaning to the universe." - CS Lewis

I totally forgot how much I love philosophy. What have I been doing? who knows!!

Right now, I'm listening to a podcast about Post Modernism and its effect on society. Its pretty interested.
I was going to try and write about it... but, for me... it would be hard to explain what I am thinking without getting into like a lot of detail. Most likely, you wouldn't understand what I mean unless I gave background information and examples.
It just goes back that class with the longest name ever: Critical Political Philosophy and Post Modernism.

ok lates.

What is truth??

Squeeze me into that perfect glass soda bottle... I'm that small cat who just wants to be like every other small cat and play and meow and be emotional and needy.
I don't want to be a nice cold bottle of soda without a care in the world... just there to provide relief from thirst to who ever its lucky owner is...

I guess finding you first doesn't have any say in the position of importance.

I'm broken hearted. I've been called clingy today because I thought we had plans and promises, which were quickly destroyed once some one else came along. How could I ever compete with your attention? I can't go to culinary school. I can't compete with those who can.
Just because I'm not a brand new friend, doesn't mean I should be disregarded. These people are planting ideas in your head and telling you that I'm controlling and needy, when clearly I'm not.
What kind of friends are they if they are trying to basically tell you that your girlfriend of fucking 3 years is not as important as them?
Ya bros over hos... I was your friend first. I was your bro first. I'm the bro that you should be choosing to be with. It shouldn't ever be a question.
You made a commitment to me. And yet, you have no idea how it feels to constantly be abandoned and lied to.
If you don't want to be with me... then stop wasting my time and end it.

The New Panic cd :D

When the Day Met the Night by Panic! At the Disco

When the moon fell in love with the sun
All was golden in the sky
All was golden when the day met the night

When the sun found the moon
She was drinking tea in a garden
Under the green umbrella trees
In the middle of summer

When the moon found the sun
He looked like he was barely hanging on
But her eyes saved his life
In the middle of summer (summer)

In the middle of summer
All was golden in the sky
All was golden when the day met the night
Summer (summer)
All was golden in the sky
All was golden when the day met the night
Summer, summer, summer, summer
All was golden when the day met the night

So he said, "Would it be all right
If we just sat and talked for a little while
If in exchange for your time
I give you this smile?"

So she said, "That's okay
As long as you can make a promise
Not to break my little heart
Or leave me all alone in the summer."

Well he was just hanging around
Then he fell in love
And he didn't know how
But he couldn't get out
Just hanging around
Then he fell in love

In the middle of summer
All was golden in the sky
All was golden when the day met the night
Summer
All was golden in the sky
All was golden when the day met the night
Summer, summer, summer, summer
When the moon fell in love with the sun
All was golden in the sky
All was golden when the day met the night

Summer, summer, summer, summer
In the middle of summer,summer,summer, summer
the middle of summer, summer, summer, summer
the middle of summer, summer, summer, summer
In the middle of..

I have several thoughts streaming through my mind right now. I'm not sure how to put them into words. It is difficult sometimes to express myself.
It is easy to feel wrong.
I'm not even sure what I'm trying to say... :)

The many rambling and lost thoughts of my over sugared brain. :D

I had a pretty good birthday weekend and day. First, on Saturday... Erick and I started off by randomly going to Disneyland. It was fun. The usual "kids" were there. We got some good pins. I'm not even going to tell you how many pins I have. I would be embarressed because if you add up how much they are all worth, you would probably be like "wtf"!
Any who... then, we drove back to Riverside. After many visits to like 2 different restaurants that were only accepting people over 21, we settled with the Elephant Bar. They have good food and cheap drinks. Erick and I were laughing the next day about how loud and vulgar we probably were. No kidding. There were some conversations like you wouldn't believe.
It was cool though. We ended the night at Erick and hung out for a while.
I went home and Erick spent the night at Jason's...
Sunday... I can't remember what I did... Erick and I napped part of the day and went grocery shopping... and that was about it.
Monday, we went to Disneyland again for my birthday. It was fun. I got some great pins. I made some trades. I made a little boys day by giving him this cool pin for a sort of crappy pin... I made a point of telling him not to trade it because it was a cool pin. I almost got this awesome Alice in Wonderland pin... that my fellow Alice fan was going to be so jealous of. It was a very fair trade, but the woman didn't want to give it up because it had a moving piece on it and she liked to play with it. Stupid! :D oh well...
Then we went to this Irish Pub (for my birthday) in Fullerton. We waited in line for days and days and finally got in to sit at a table. I drank green beer and chit chatted with the people at our table who were culinary students like Erick. It was pretty fun.
We eventually made it back to Disneyland after a quick stop and Sonics for dinner. It was there that I stumbled across a pin that I really should look up now that I think about it. It is a pin of Jessica Rabbit. It is a Limited Edition (LE) of 250... which let me tell you is a pretty good pin. I stumbled across it in Store Command on a Landyard. I just wonder who would trade. I asked this guy and he said someone probably bought it really cheap and used it as a trader and didn't even think to look at the bank... so yay for me. I'm hoping to hold on to it to get a cool limited edition pin... Alice in Wonderland of course. It will be awesome. :D
Ok any way...
I'm done... I shall return to making my self some lunch and neopeting :D
Until we meet again...

What is the rush?

What is the rush to do things? I have my whole life. I have my whole life to do it once and do it right. I think that is the mature and wise thing to remember. :)
It will happen when it happens... but, when it does it will be lasting and done the right way.
The End :)
I think I'm done sitting here at my computer... my back hurts!

Jessika Loves Disneyland

Can you love Disneyland too much? I don't think so... I'm sure some people think we go too much, though. I don't care that much. You would not believe how much fun it has gotten. We've almost reached a new level of insiders fun at Disneyland. We've met people there who we see regularly.
We are getting to the point of insanity with our pin trading and everything... but, its so much fun. I love it! :)
Right now, I'm only blogging because neopets appears to be done. Its kind of annoying. I just hope that I'm not getting hacked or something... though I don't see how I could have been.
Whatever the case... I'm bored. I'm waiting for sleepy Erick to wake up.
And, I'm thinking about what we are doing today. :)
Lates

So... what is new with me? I'm completely broke. It makes it very difficult to do anything with myself during the day and on the weekends. Erick and I still live pretty adventurous lives, but we are still limited by funds. Mostly, we go to Disneyland like twice a week... which even that is a drain on gas (which equals a drain on funds). Its ok though... we are making it through. :)
It is better that we don't have any responsibilities while we are both out of work.
I'm looking for a job. I have patience. I know that God will provide for me.
I just applied for a job as an Administrative Assistant, which pays 16-20 an hours. That would be perfect for me to be honest. That's almost as much as my dad makes... which isn't a lot to live on by yourself... but, it is perfect for sharing rent with someone, preferably my husband to be.
Well any way... I'm just praying that God will provide me with a job or one of my two checks, ASAP.
I called CBU today... and now, I'm waiting for them to call me back... in regards to getting my housing deposit back. I could definitely use that.
So, right now, I'm just rambling.
I have a lot on my mind right now.
I'm waiting for the next step of my life... but, its taking forever.
It just proves that even with a bachelors degree, you are nothing without luck... or God :D

Waiting Patiently,
Jessika

Yes, even though it is completely unGodly... I have pure hatred in my heart right now.
Why is it that when you love someone you have to put up with their inability to act like a human being and an adult.
If I have to be up in 4 hours... I'd like to go to bed. And, if you are keeping me awake, than I'm going to be irritated.
You do not take that the time to teach me a valuable lesson of life... you take that time to be an adult and realize I'm extremely tired and I really did something wrong, which I didn't, I'll apologize in the morning...
Go to bed...
Hold up your promises

Lets see... if you can't wake up after 8 hours of sleep... and God himself is supposedly trying to make you sleep in
then how the hell are you going to wake up after only 4 hours?

I just want you to know that you're attitude makes me regretful. I hope that I never make a poor decision like that again.... because clearly, it wasn't worth it.

For crying out loud... be there for me not for yourself or facebook

neopets

Yes, I know I'm sort of a dorky girl because I'm nearly 23 and here I am still playing neopets... haha but, for those of you out in cyber space... if you think you ever want to sign up and be a cool kid too...
use my link. :)
http://www.neopets.com/refer.phtml?username=skagirlbitsy

I know we all have our flaws. Most likely, some of these flaws will never be fully fixed. We are imperfect. I have character flaws... I whine too much, and complain even more. I try not to... but, I don't know if anyone will see that I may never be perfect. My point is that everyone has a character flaw. It is easy to concentrate on me and ignore your own.
The reason this is brought up is because Erick's character flaw is often taken extremely over what is acceptable or tolerable. He has a complex, he often thinks that he is above everyone and fails to see any other point of view. It is so sad to see him treat people close to him so poorly because he believes that it is in his rights and duties as the "man of the house".
You know, I don't even know what to say about his attitude and the way he treats me. Am I supposed to just live with it because he doesn't do it that often? Or move on? I don't think I could do either.
I just hope that he can grow up. I talk to him about everything that he does... he recognizes that he is wrong hours after he finally calms down... but, during his craziness, when he thinks he's calm, he is known for following people around saying the most horrible stuff.
Any way... He says things are ok, but who knows.
I spoke to Mike about it... and he says that he use to be this way, but one day he realized how bad it is for his loved ones and stopped. I guess I'll just hope that this most recent discussion I had with Erick will finally take some effect on his attitude.

Dieting is a pain

yes, I know that some of my more annoying friends would just tell me to stop winning... but, really... it is impossible to diet at my house. Honestly, I know that my nana and papa like to hold on to their main dish foods, but how can they truly think that I can live off fatty taquitos and tv dinners for my main meals? give me my chicken or my beef or something other than freakin' high calorie foods. I can't just eat egg white omelettes every single meal because that is the only low calorie thing they have available to me. They don't even have low calorie salad dressing. My nana is so oblivious to good eating habits. She thinks that its okay to eat things that its definitely not okay to eat. oh dear. I suppose I'll just have to suck it up right? :) It can't be too much longer.

I know its late... but, herre is my new year survey!

1. Go to a party? Many home brewed parties :)
2. Try something new? I went on a cruise and graduated... My new adventure was not caring about my grades for a whole semester and still got a good grade.
3. Have something change your life? My graduating is pretty life changing! :) I'm so excited!
4. Kiss someone? Erick William Lange every single day
5. Tell your family and friends you love them? I do a lot actually :)
6. Buy something extravagant? I paid for my cruise, my DS, and some more stuff that I can't remember
7. Do something nice for you? Every thing above was for me :)
8. Do something terribly wrong? No! I'm perfect *shifts eyes*
9. Move? Move???? I moved out of my apartment and into nana's for the summer and then I moved to my newer apartment and then back to my nana's
10. Go to a concert? We saw Reel Big Fish, Streetlight, and Suburban Legends and hairline fractured my arm!! We saw Suburban Legends at Disneyland, and Mad Caddies at the Alley.

Best of the Year:
1. Party: The time when Ben was the only one drinking and he was pretty much passed out in the grass... hilarious!!
2. Show: I'm loving Heroes and Grey's Anatomy
3. CD: Suburban Legends cds, 30 Seconds to Mars, The Format, Panic! At the Disco
4. Movie: V for Vendetta and Dr. Strangelove
5. Song: Bright Spring Morning - Suburban Legends
6. Experience: The Cruise and traveling
7. Concert: Fall of Ska tour
8. Book: My Greek New Testament
9. Month: December
10. Day: 14th

Worst of the Year:
1. Party: Mike's new years fiasco... haha which was technically in 2008 but, it was horrible. We went home to party like rock stars after bowling, we invited all the boys over for a sleep over, pjs included... when Mike came over and spent the whole night trying to show us youtube videos... that's when one by one people started to peel away and fall asleep because it was so boring!! The worst party ever!
2. Show: I don't know
3. CD: I can't think of one right now
4. Movie: Die Hard
5. Song: Anthem - Superchik and Lean like a Cholo
6. Experience: going to the hospital for my medical issues and not being sedated though the vicadin was nice
7. Concert: I didn't enjoy being smooshed at the november mae concert before mae even came out... but, when mae came out... it was so good!
8. Book: ABCs of Political Economy
9. Month: October
10. Day: I had a couple of very annoying days last semester

Hopes for 2006:
1. Predict something that you think will happen in 2008? Ron Paul will not win the republican primary and will split the vote and thus allowing a democrat to win... stupid Ron Paul!!
2. What do you hope changes about your country? I hope what I said above doesn't happen! :)
3. What do you hope for yourself? I hope I will find a job, find an apartment, get engaged, and plan my dream wedding! :)
4. What do you hope for your family? I hope they will be successful and happy
5. What do you hope for your best friend? I hope that he will realize he doesn't have to be the center of all attention.
6. What do you hope for the rest of your friends? I hope they find what they need this year :)
7. Do you think any amazing medical advances will be made? It would be nice, but who knows :)

So... my future. I'm pretty excited! I'm turning an application for this job that I want so bad that will get my foot in the door for a great career path... at least for me. Pray for me... I'll be turning it in tomorrow!

tough times

Its so sad to see that someone can lose their person... they can lose their childhood. I don't know how to talk about what I am thinking. Its extremely sad.