I'm not quite sure what to say. I have just found out that my roommate is planning on getting a long extention on her classes... To me, it seems like she is such a fake and a liar. She pretends to be sick but, really it is her lack of motivation that prevents her from going to class. I'm the first to admit that having a boyfriend is the first that takes priority over midnight cram sessions and what not, but when you claim that you are too sick but you are capable of going to New York for the weekend and running around town this spring break, it seems to me that you are not too sick to do you freaking homework.
So like I said... I'm not sure what to say about this

Again I Go Unnoticed

So quiet
another wasted night,
the television steals the conversation
exhale,
another wasted breath,
again it goes unnoticed.

Please tell me you're just feeling tired
cause if it's more than that I feel that I might break
out of touch, out of time.
Please send me anything but signals that are mixed
cause I can't read your rolling eyes
out of touch, are we out of time?

Close lipped
another goodnight kiss
is robbed of all it's passion,
your grip
another time, is slack
it leaves me feeling empty.

I'll wait until tomorrow
maybe you'll feel better then
maybe we'll be better then
so what's another day
when I can't bear these nights of thoughts
of going on without you
this mood of yours is temporary
it seems worth the wait
to see your smile again
out of the corner of my eye
won't be the only way you're looking at me then.

UP335

How can I rely on you, if you don't consider me? How can I put myself aside, when there isn't an opportunity to. I don't know what to do or think about next semester. New things happen each year, but I didn't expect it to be so dramatic.
When will you see me as a friend and not as an intruder? When will you think of me as your own and not as a newbie?
It hurts you know? ...to think that I dove in and immersed myself only to find out I was alone.
And, I know I'm not perfect... but, I know that I am growing. It is sad to think that I could possibly be punished for my work in progress, especially when I am trying.
Its just sad.
And, I guess it is time to distance myself. I'm graduating any way I suppose...
Its just sad...

you are so selfish Erick... why are you still sleeping at 2? screw you if you are going to be like this... ruin my freaking day...
I'm sick of you being the center of the world. We do everything that you want to do and nothing I want to do... just for once I'd like to be number one!!!

I've been waiting for this day for too long. I've almost started my week a day early... but, I realize that I need to go to class... :)
I have a freaking quiz today. I guess it is my fault. He asked us if we wanted one, and I suppose the topic isn't a hard one.
Anyway... I'm just going to Con Law and Old Testament Survey and then I'm coming back to nap. :)
Today is my surprise birthday trip/dinner from Erick. I don't know what is going to happen... I did say that I didn't want a surprise, though I think it is mostly for him and his enjoyment. And, for that I will not complain :)
And, anyway I'm looking forward to it completely. I even got new pants which is yay!
I'm excited about the new camera I'm getting next week... and Ben said he was getting me something... I told him not to but, he's insisting... so that makes me excited too!
My roommates will probably forget for the most part. I wanted to go to Disneyland, but I don't think they are going to take me. They said something about a girls night in... which wont be the same as when we originally wanted to do that because we aren't that close any more. Victoria will sit there talking to her boyfriend and Stephanie will probably be in the internet... and I bet Maydelle doesn't even know we are doing something. So that just leaves no one to enjoy a day with me! :) I know it sounds selfish, but the fact is... I don't really want to do something with them if they don't want to with me. On my birthday, I would much rather be hanging out with Erick... possibly going to Ben's concert in Fullerton. That would have been my ideal birthday.

Ok Lates!

The jumbled world of Productionist Metaphysics... and what nots

I'm tired of studying. I feel like I'm stuck in a box... I can't breathe, my chest is tight, my bones are sore... What do I care what Nietzsche things about human nature? haha... well, I actually like this class, but I'm really lacking motivation. I'm stunted by my desire to literally sit there.
I need silence. I'm ultimately desiring something that I cannot have... only at 7am when everyone is still sleeping.
Is that my solution? to wake up at 7 and do my homework? I suppose I could do it during chapel as well. Maybe that is my solution. I'm done with three of the six study questions any way...

I'm currently listening to: Fall Out Boy - The Take Over, The Break's Over

I'm tired. I stayed up until 4:30 doing homework. I suppose it is my fault. I have been very unmotivated... as you should know, since last weeks Greek test. I'm very disappointed. I passed... in fact I got an above average score... but, I don't think I performed at my best and I don't know if I deserve the B I got. I suppose I expect more from myself. However, my confidence has been restored a little. I swore that I completely failed... but, I got an 88. Its vastly different from my previous tests which all ranged in the high As. Who knows... I don't think I really can give it any more time without neglecting my core studies. Considering that I'm not going to be a pastor, that would be absurd.
Anyway... I'm going to go eat with my mom and brother...
So, lates yos!

I'm tired. I had an interesting night to say the least. I went to go bowling with Erick and Ben. It was fun because for the first time I could stroll over to the bar and have a random drink. It was a lot of fun. I didn't have dinner last night... so I didn't realize how the 3 minor drinks would effect me... I'm sure I was entertaining. The lady next to us was drunk after only like 10 minutes of being there... she was so funny. She was giving high fives to everyone and talking to everyone and singing all crazy... it was funny
I think we all know how funny drunk bowlers can be
Anyway... after that we went to get some donuts at "American Donuts no. 5" which is a 24 hour donut store down the street from my school. That was fun. We played Bust a Move for like 30 minutes. I was winning until Ben kept popping in more quarters... I won for like 30 minutes on one quarter.
Anyway... I came home pretty tipsy but not drunk and I went to bed. I hope that Maydelle doesn't realize what happened but, if she did I don't really care. I'm waiting for Erick to wake his lazy butt up so we can go to brunch.
lates

I can tell today is going to be crappy! Boo

Let me quickly laugh at my roommates stupidity. I will not give her sympathy. She stayed up late... and this is because she spent all day watching tv and doing who knows what, instead of doing her homework like she should have been. In fact, she shouldn't have gone to that ACN thing if she was smart of to realize that it would effect her homework. Ya, dumb... what a waste of money.
On top of that, everything you do and say annoys me... and I wish you would stop talking to Erick. You have no business talking to him late at night for hours and you are stupid because you should be writing your paper not talking about crazy nonsense and watching reruns of Heroes on NBC.

Ok lates...
She is freaking dumb! :)