Hero

Sometimes I think that I hold my hero and to great of a standard. I was let down yesterday. It made me really sad to think that I have my eyes set on someone who is far from my values then I could have ever thought possible!
I've been thinking, have I let my reputation slip? Do people ignore the fact that i'm a christian these days because I act too much like everyone else? I really need to get on the ball. Its hard to think that ya we have the right to do basically whatever we want, but we need to consider others and most importantly how we are representing the kingdom? How does my freedom to drink represent Christ in a possitive manner? I'm not sure that it does when there are so many bad ideas that come with it.
Mostly, I'm thinking I just need to be considerate of who I am around. I'm not sure that it is right for me to have a drink with my family any more, no matter how fun it might be. I can't let my once a week hang out be clouded by a bunch of regrets and conversations I don't completely feel comfortable hearing.
And, what really brought me to write this is the realization that I cannot hold people to my own values. I'm not supporting illegal behavior or consistant sinning... but, I can't expect them to do something that I have chosen to do. I can only pray and hope that by my example things will emerge better.
So... ya... I had a good day and yet a bad day yesterday.... excuse me for having no interest in smoking (whether it be illegal or not)... excuse me if I have no interest in telling drunk stories and taking shots of petron with the sole purpose of getting hammered.
I am not you. And, I should probably be representing that better. I'm imperfect... but, atleast I try

very good advice

"Next time you feel angry, ask yourself is this something that would make God mad?"
Don't forget God does get mad at things... there are things that he hates, things that make him mad, things that make him sad...

A second response to a know it all

This same argument regarding economic philosophy has progressed into a full scale values attack address whether or not one of my best friends is a "true Christian" or not. It is pathetic to see the this attempt to gain a win by picking apart the very person who has always be a true friend. How can you think so little of this person? And, even more important, how could you see all this bad without even trying to see that she has paid for these sins? We are all sinners in the eyes of God. We all make mistakes that pave our futures in directions we never thought we would go. How can someone ask point blank "have you repented?" with out a hint love and compassion?
I have made many mistakes. These things will decide my future; things that have compromised how some people will look at me and how some people will see my relationship with Christ and my values. I would hate to find that though I have been forgiven from them and I realize for myself that I have made a mistake and continue to work through them with the help of my savior... to find that there are people who only see what has happened and not what has become.
I'm not sure if I could be friends with someone that though he was not directly hurt by my actions, will charge me a fine for my mistakes instead of realizing that I'm already paying an arm and a leg. What ever happened to the love of God?
This person struggles with many things... namely relationships. And yes, she does come with a full load of dysfunction, more than your average bear... but, she is amazingly resilient. She knows her short comings... anyone who knows her can see that. Anyone one who calls her a true friend can see that she struggles day by day to be a woman of God. So what really strikes me today is the lack of attention this so called friend has placed on her. How could he determine for her where her life is heading? The fact is that he has no idea.
I think sometimes, when people try to step in an put pick out logs they fail to realize that they don't even know how because they've never experienced it. These people should realize that there are other people in their lives that do know how. If it is a serious problem, what about confronting a person you know also loves and cares for this person and ask them to talk to this person. It is never your place to presume that you know what is best when it is obvious that you don't.

So, yes... this is probably jumbled. I have many feelings in this matter... and in particular with this person who basically stabbed my best friend in the heart, and didn't care. There is a way to go about things. There is way to talk to people you think are not going down the right path... and making a stand like you are pure and perfect and they are crap... is not it! :) Standing and pretending that you know what it is like... when you obviously don't, is not it!!

In conclusion, If anyone sees me struggling, or anyone struggling, ask yourself do I know how to fix this? Have I been through something like this too? Or is this problem in a class of its own, one that I cannot pretend to understand? Then when you find that you are the person to help... that you are going to be God's child sent to help and encourage... do just that... help and encourage, love and show compassion, be patient! Love is Patient, and love is kind!

That is all! :)

Let me take this moment to ramble about economic theory.
So you don't like the united states? why are you here? why do you take advantage of the democratic freedoms? You go to college for free. You sit in your apartment with your name brand chucks and your hot topic clothes and soak in the air condition while you complain about capitalism and the "big business" which created the lap top you are using to look up your anarchy. *rolls eyes*
I just one thing to say. Go live in the desert, clothe yourself with leaves, and hunt for food... and stop complaining about people taking advantage of the system... when you are one of those people yourselves.

Now, I understand that this has not even ventured into economic theory. But, after talking to this person and hearing his theories on how he'll make a drastic statement buy shutting down some trains with a copper wire. I'm not even sure why I spent my time arguing with him... but, his theory was flawed. Why would he want to damage the very people around him he claims to love by involving himselfs in what could be called a terrorist act by shutting down the train system across the world.

Anyway... I may finish this later... but the fact is that this person is stupid. Stupid emo kid feeling bad that he gets to go to a private college for free... wa wa!

Romantic times at CVS

Its been a tough couple of days. I'm not sure what has become of it because there is still a stale tone as if nothing was fixed. What is the deal? We live our lives worrying about how things hurt ourselves without even considering that we may be doing more damage fighting for what is "true and right". It has just given me a lot time to think of what my values are in life. What do expect from people and what do I expect from myself.

enough with your secrecy... enough with you saying its none of my business... hurry up already and be the person you were born to be!

I really don't know what to say about this. I've been told by this person that it doesn't matter... that its all in my head... that I bring out the worst in people. But, I really don't see how my having my feelings hurt brings out the worst in people. I don't see how my constantly being brought down makes me deserve to be hurt on a daily basis.
What am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to just put up with being degraded all the time?

I've never been treated like this in my whole life. I'm punished for disagreeing? I'm punished for being hurt?
I don't know how much longer I can do this... I can't stand being in a relationship where it is so one sided. I'm not happy. Love does not equal impatience. How did it get like this? Is it my fault that he treats me this way? Its sad to think that everything could fall apart because he is too prideful to change.