I forgot what I was going to write. It took me so long to get this page to load.
well, I'm in class... Critical Political Philosophy and Post Modernism. Yes, I know I am always in this class when I write a blog... yes, this is true. My teacher tends to go off on tangents in the middle of his lectures, and because of this, I tend to surf the web and take note when he actually says something important or whatever.
oh, you know what? I was going to write about how annoying I think Stephanie, my roommate is. But, I don't really care any more. She's like a child... I just wont hang out with her or tell her anything. She can't handle anything above her stubborn/prideful level.
Can you tell that she really does bug me? Ya, and I'm not the only one.

Anyway... I think I'm going to go play some games. I wish I could find Sonic for my emulator... I'll just settle with donkey kong... since I took out my sims game yesterday :( sad!

my failure :(

I'm pretty sure I failed my Greek test today... and this time it isn't just me not wanting to admit that I did pretty OK. This time I didn't finish the test and I'm pretty the ones I did finish aren't right. oye!! I'm very frustrated and emotionally drained because I stayed up for the past week studying for this test. Its all those stupid verbs!! I can't keep track of imperfects, aorists, and perfects not to mention the active and middle/passive versions of all those and the present and future tenses... omgosh!!
I feel incredibly frustrated.
When I was done, I felt like crying and then I had to go and be a critical thinker in my Cinema class. That was no good. I have a freaking midterm on Thursday... that I thought was going to be a take home... and now I find out it is going to be an in class. Its stupid!

I am currently in class. It is fascinating how much I have grown up over the course of this year. I'm so blessed. Sure, I still have problems but, they aren't inevitable.

I wish I could be in school forever... I seriously would be a permanent student if I was a millionaire. Its kind of not fair that those celebrities don't take advantage of their money. Erick and I were discussing that if we had money we would try and visit every single country... why doesn't anyone do that?

"mmm... bjs and pizza"

On another note, here is a picture of us going on a date... but deciding at the last minute to invite Ben and then driving back to my apartment to wait for him to get off of work.

I guess I have never really been jealous before. I'm really hurt... and its not that I don't trust but because I would like a little attention too. I really trust him, I know that he would never hurt me like that... I feel that a certain relationship is really inappropriate. I just can't do it.
I know I'm being dramatic... I know this will all pass. But, it hurts to know that I'm not always number one... even though I make him number one. It hurts to know that everything I do concerns him... but, I don't receive the same thing. Maybe I shouldn't be so clingy...
It sucks because I thought we were reaching new levels in our relationship and now, I feel stagnant because of this whole thing... boo! And, well in the whole scheme of life, I feel kind of unimportant right now. What am I supposed to do? Do I really have fish for a single complement every single day? We'll see if he can manage to make it here on time... for once.

so I guess it irritates me that you can sleep in for all hours of the day because you stay up until 3 or 4am... and then, my plans get to be ruined. When are you going to grow up and act your age? You have responsibilities. Just because you can sleep until when ever you want to doesn't mean that you should... you have all week to sleep until 1... why do you choose today?

Night of the Living Dead and other Abnormalities!

I have begun my large school project for this year. Its probably the longest paper I have written thus far. Its for my Cinema class. Basically, we are required to pick a subject or theme and discuss how it has change over a period of a decade or how it effected the culture. Its basically noting the social commentary of the movie.
I, being the cute little zombie-loving girl that I am, choose to examine 1958-1968 and the movies The Blob, The Birds, and the all famous... Night of the Living Dead. It is going to be fabulous. I would like to talk about the Dialect of Enlightenment. I think I'll have to buy that book, though I might have a copy of it in my download-able note section for Critical Political Philosophy. Anyway... I'm either doing the progression of Heroism in films during that era or I'm going to do the decades rising technology and depletion of nature... and nature strikes back!
I'm pretty pumped. I would like to write a cohesive paper... but, I wonder if I can combine several themes with in this paper. I feel that these movies represent so much. The Role of Women and the Depletion of the Nuclear family is enough to write a book probably. I think I need to set up an appointment with my professor to figure out what I need to be doing.
I finished my Bibliography today and though it has to grow, I already have 10 great sources!!

Anyway... I think I'm going to ditch my next class and go take a nap. I studied until like 3am when I came home. Let me note on my roommates retarded studying habits. I think it notes her age and maturity... and it kind of annoys me. Its kind of funny... she wonders around the house doing everything before she can sit down to study. Things that don't need to be done right that second. For example, adding another light bulb to the ceiling light. She doesn't know how and knows that Erick will do it for us when he comes home from school... but, insist on wondering around the house trying to figure it out. She finally begins her stuff late at night... around 10pm only to give up on it at 12am to take a nap... I come home to find her sleeping on the study floor and crazed and confused. My question is why don't you just go to bed... you are obviously not doing any work... so you shouldn't pretend that you stayed up all night writing... because it is obvious that you are not. Today, her and my other roommate will complain about how they only got 3 hours sleep when really they slept the whole night with the book on their chest. Unless they are absorbing the words, I doubt they have any room to complain and probably should consider actually studying for real.
I guess those roommates have been bugging me... and I know its none of my business but the problem I find is that they probably shouldn't be living in an apartment. It seems to me that they are struggling with time management and simple stuff that "mom" usually does for them at home... like buying toilet paper. Their child-like attitudes has lead Victoria and I to just buy secret supplies for ourselves to use only. It will probably take them a while to realize that we weren't kidding when we said throw in money for toilet paper... and we were being dramatic when wanted to be told when we were out in order to buy more. Ultimately, it will take the a while to realize that the stuff they are doing is hurting them... They can't pretend that the D they got on the paper (true story) was not their fault when they wrote it in the middle of the night and drifting in and out of consciousness...
At least I know I'm passing! One more semester!!

I am broken by your comments and saddened by your misunderstandings...

A waste of time

I'm on my way to the Mad Caddies concert. Well, as soon as Erick and his "always late" butt gets here. I just ate lunch and he was suppose to be here at 11... and its like almost 1. I'm kind of sick of him lying to me... if he needs more sleep then call me so I can get more sleep. Or he could go to bed at a reasonable time instead of staying up hours staring at his computer. Its stupid... that's all I have to say... just plain stupid!

Just thinking out loud!!

Its very hard for me to talk to Ben sometimes. I understand that he doesn't believe in God... I guess I just think that he should examine both sides. Skimming the bible isn't going to give him both sides nor is owning more than one version. I really think that if he doesn't want to sit down and be neutral, he needs to just read a book based on the argument of God. He has time to read one arguing against God, he should just take the time and know what he is talking about.
I just don't want to argue with him. He practically begged me to give him my blogger address... but, like I said, I just can't do it

Oye... I'm not even going to argue what I think on here. Its ridiculous! :)

I just thought I would think about it to myself...
On another note, I bought my big purchase. I bought a 1gb memory stick pro duo for my PSP... Its all very exciting!! Now, I can put movies directly onto my computer. Its so awesome!! I already put Ferris Bueller's Day Off... and now I'm converting Oceans 12. Its great because now I don't have to buy UMDs... it just doesn't make any sense considering I own most of my favorite movies. Why would I want to buy doubles? and why would I buy a new one on my PSP when I'll just have to buy it on DVD? It just doesn't make sense!!
So yes! I'm pretty pumped! So, that was my semi big present to myself. The other one is my Disneyland pass! I'm so excited about it. 239 bucks right down the drain... and another 100 or so for Erick's pass. Its worth it. Erick bought mine last year. Hopefully, my mom will either pay for a portion of it or help me buy a new digital camera for my birthday present. Its what I really want. My dad wants to get me a TIVO box, though I'm not sure if I want that or if I want a Camera. I think I want a really nice camera... but I don't know yet. For my brother's birthday, they are sending him to Vegas! he's going to be 21... And, I'm thinking that all of us want to come too! My dad and my mom want to invade... and of course Erick and I! :)
Woot woot!

Refund check

Well, I got my refund check today. It was a surprise considering I wasn't expecting it for another week. I'm trying to figure out what I want to buy. I'd like to buy a couple big purchases... last semester I bought a hotel for two nights in Vegas and Erick and I went out to eat a bunch of times. I bought some new clothes but not many... and that was about it. I really would like to buy a Nintendo DS but, Erick thinks I should just be happy with my PSP. I want one still. It would be nice to go some where and not have to share my toys with someone... I'll have two. There aren't really any games I want for PSP right now, so I think that is out of the picture... ok I have to go... Ben and Erick are here! We are going to caddies concert tomorrow if anyone is interested and wants to go

I'm reminded today why Ben and I could not work out. I love him and loved him wholly... however, how could I make a relationship with someone who thinks that love is just your bodies reaction to cravings for emotion and attention. He went on... in his attempt to be philosophical to talk about his thoughts about God. oye... My love and faith in God is not blind. I'm rational about it. Its not just what I feel is right.

I suppose he needs to be subjected to the world a little more. I'm sitting in class right now. We are talking about Existentialism. Its pretty interesting. Basically what we are talking about is that science and seeing the ability of faith are being changed. According to Kierkegaard, a complete believe in science without the use of faith and passion creates in society "The Herd". "An age without passion is an age without value."

I'm kind of putting snip its in here because I'm trying to take notes too... but my point is... science doesn't explain everything and if you think you know everything from an entry level course... than that is dumb! :)
I love you though... but, no :)

It is 4am!!

I'm studying for "Critical Political Philosophy and Post Modernism" and... its freaking 4 am... mostly because I was talking to Erick and he wouldn't shut up! :) He was trying to help me but, I was just trying to make some flash cards and I had to stop talk to him in the middle... and it took me a lot longer to study.
oh well...
I'm not done but I have class at 8 so I have to go!
so... lates yo!

By the way!! 30 seconds to Mar is my new favorite band!!

From Fall Out Boys new CD

Golden by Fall Out Boy

How cruel is the golden rule,
When the lives we lived are only golden plated.
And I knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me,
Though I carried carats for everyone to see.
And I saw god cry in the reflection of my enemies.
And all the lovers with no time for me.
And all of the mothers raise their babies to stay away from me.

Tongues on the sockets of electric dreams,
Where the sewage of youth drowned the spark of my teens.
And I knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me,
(Too heavy for me.)
Though I carried carats for everyone to see.
(Everyone to see.)
And I saw god cry in the reflection of my enemies.
And all the lovers with no time for me.
And all of the mothers raise their babies to stay away from me,
And pray they don’t grow up to be...

To the Ds and the Js

You spun your way in
you danced your way around
you mixed the pretenses
and expected a high price ball
but, paid the "ladies free" cover

I had a good weekend... minus the stupid stomach flu... which has been the worse sickness I've ever been forced to endure!
We basically hung out with Ben most of the weekend... Its fun because it brought us back to the days... :D

I miss Erick though... I'm so sad that I'm sick and really lonely :(
And, I want to be taken care!

"You love is deeper..." Phil Wickam

So how was my weekend? It was alright. I've been really sick since Thursday. I spiked a fever as some of you may know from my facebook. I've been really miserable. I haven't really been able to eat anything since Wednesday. Everything makes me nauseous. I missed several classes last week because I was so sick and it sucked. They were classes that I really couldn't miss. I'm feeling better today though... we'll see if I can hold down my lunch. I had 2 tacos and some tater tots from the ADC (My beloved caf).
One fun thing that happened in the midst of the madness was Ben coming over to chill. It was like old times... cheap jokes and wise cracks and a hundred "any whos, any what, any why, etc" competitions later and we went home at 5! It was so much fun and I definitely hope that we get to do it again.

I'm exhausted and yet, I'm still going to be up and running. I hope to wear myself dry and Disneyland. Its like 80 outside... maybe we can go on Grizzly River Run!! :)

OK lates!

Its been a long week and a long semester thus far. I can't believe how stressed everything can be. Its ridiculous.

I don't even have time for myself... just time for Greek and my readings :(