"I love him, okay?" - Jessika

It was the most ridiculous thing I've heard in a long time... "Didn't you just spend like 3 hours with him and now he is calling you?" umm... excuse me? He is my best friend and boyfriend whom I plan to marry... when you have a boyfriend who you love... then you'll understand. Its not even that he called for anything but to find out if Jason was still in my house... because in that case Erick was going to come up and chill for a while with us.
I hate when this particular person is overly critical about everything. If it is something that she wouldn't do that it must be crazy!

On another note, Erick and I just spent the last couple hours spending some much needed time alone. I haven't been couped up here in the bubble we call CBU for ages now. I love it here... and I love my roommates, but I just needed some nice date time. We spent it all at the movies where we saw Jackass 2 (just as good as the first one) and going to McDonalds... which sounds uneventful... but, really its Erick's fav. fast food joint! :)
Anyway... getting back to my main point, after her anoying comment to my phone call, I responded by saying "I love him, okay?" which my other roommate and I laughed at later because it was right out of a cheesy sitcom. But, for reals now... He is my love and my boyfriend and my best friend. He isn't just a plain old boyfriend, he is my bestfriend too... it makes a difference. I confide in him. He knows all my insecurities and faults. He knows me... it would be ridiculous for me to say, "we can only see each other for 3 hours because Stephanie said so!"

Alright... I'm done! :) I'm off to do my homework. I'm so tired. Maybe, I'll just go to bed now and wake up at like 7 and do my homework then...

LATES!

Other than my anoying friend... I had a decent night last night. I love my roommates more and more every day! They are amazing woman. They are so inspiring and uplifting. We have our inside jokes now... most of them come out of being super tired...
"A tuna sandwich at Stephanie!"
"Red Light!!!"
"That's unethical!!"

I love them! :)

its just whatever

So, last night, I was pretty irratated that I was invited to the beach only to be ditched because you knows wanted to skip off into the darkness to make out for 3 hours. It was ridiculous! Then, when we all came back to play a game it was completely rude to just say "screw you guys when its not my turn" as if when its not your turn you must talk and be stupid and prevent other people from going.
You are an immature jerk!
So, as of now, I'm definately not going to hang out with you any more. I'll be friendly, but I'm not making any more plans where I'm stranded at the beach while you are getting busy!
I don't even agree with what you are doing. Its stupid to just dump your girlfriend so you can make out with someone else. One day you will regret it... and I'll have to pick up the pieces since you are both my friends!! oye!
So... its just whatever!!

"Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?" - Panic! At the Disco

I was going to write something... but stupid blogger took forever to load this page... I think its a sign that I need to finally turn my poor computer off. I think its been on all week. I don't think I've turned it off since like Monday... and when I turned it off then, I held the button.... I didn't even turn it off properly... I was "punishing it" as Erick would say... for being slow and freezing during class... while I was trying to take notes! *shakes fist*

urges to care

I can't help be concerned for this blossoming relationship in my circle. It seems to me that they are bringing the worst out of each other. I know its not my place, but I'm really fearing that if I don't say something to one of them, they are going to do some huge damage to each other.

Anyway... I'm really nervous about everything. And, again, I know its not my place... but, really... They are my friends, practically my best friends and I hear about all this stuff... I don't know?

I'm done, for now...

"I'm useless against them!" - Dashboard Confessional

And interesting day it has been. I feel like things are getting a little chaotic. People liking other people... and people being stupid and getting all girly and more than my little mind and heart can handle. I can see a train wreck in the near future. It scares me because I can't stop it.
The train is running out of control. People are falling for other people and some people are just not ready to have the kind of relationship they are going to get. Seriously, there is a need for growing up. But, eh... I'm stuck in the middle of it yet again. oye!

What do I do? What do I say? I can't say more right now... I'll be back later, maybe...

Monday madness

I'm awake.
I had an interesting weekend... that I must tell you all about! It all began on Saturday when my roommate and I decided that we were going to TWIRP (The Woman Is Required To Pay) a guy for our other roommate (who didn't actually want us to... but, she's too shy to admit it). We went all out and designed a scavenger hunt and everything. This meant we had to spend all day coming up with clues and a crossword puzzle and all sorts of other stuff. It was really entertaining... and then in the end the guys said yes. That part was the mellow part of my day. After we met them and they had finished everything... we all went to Norms for a midnight dinner. Everyone went including Erick, me, Jason (Jadter), Mike Kirkpatrick, Victoria, Maydelle, John, and Jason (Lee). It was so much fun. I don't thnk I ever laughed so hard in my life. We drove John home because he had to get up for church and in the morning... and then we were off to phase 3 of the night, the movie portion. So some of us had this brilliant idea to make a Horror movie at like 2 in the morning... and then another brilliant idea was to make it on top of Mt. Rubidoux. haha... omgosh... all I have to say is that its title was "Where's Stephanie?" (which is my other roommate who went home for the weekend) and it included a Thriller dance scene and a couple of gay zombies. It was hysterical! In the end, I got home at like 4:30 and then I finally went to sleep around 5:15 after a long gab about who was hot and who everyone wanted to date (girl chat is so much fun).
It was so much fun. We are going to have a cranium party next week... to which we are going to invite all the coolest "yos" around.
I'm just so happy with how things are going to so far this year. There are things that bug me a little about one of my roommates... but, they aren't even remotely serious. And, she'll grow out of them just like I did. This is going to be a great last year. It has been very eventful and exciting. I've been meeting some great people this year... which reminds me... I need to call Jason back so we can make plans to hang out this week.
I'll probably be back sometime later. I really need to start posting more stuff like I did during the summer... I just have like a billion things to do during the day on top of maintaining my relationship with my love, Erick and hanging out with my buddies. I really need to skip off and start Aristotle's Politics... omgosh... I have an excellent book for everyone to read... Plato's Republic... it is great! It talks about how to build a society and government... and what kind of laws and such are needed... to me, it could be made into the perfect scifi film... if you really think about it.
Anyway... I'm off for now. LATES

Happy? I think so

Am I happy with how life is? I really think so. I was asked this the other day by my dear friend Bobby. We were suppose to be studying... but you know how that goes. Bobby and I never study when we are suppose to! :)
I'm just really content with the way things are going right now. Erick and I have been dating for a whole 2 years now... We have big plans for the future. We are hoping to go on a vacation this winter, hopefully a cruise... but, if not, we are going to go to Vegas for a couple of days with our friends.
I'm so thankful for what God has provided me. Its kind of funny because the last week before I moved in, I was thinking... you know I have some great friends already... I don't care if I don't have a girl friend... I don't need to be best friends with my roommates... If it happens... then it happens... but, I don't need it to happen. And, then here I am... being really good friends with my roommates. Its a fun thing. They are so dramatic like my last roommates... and they are so anoying like my old best friend... (who couldn't even call me best friend... which is ridiculous). Overall, I still miss Sam. I'm over the drama. If I saw her on the street, I would say hi and ask her how she was doing... I would be civil. I might even answer an email or a phone call if she was willing to finally drop everything. If she was willing to make the step to say that it isn't any of her business saying that Erick and I are immature. She has no authority to decide who is immature and who is not. She doesn't have years of experience to back up her opinion. Anyway... I'm not even going to dwell on this right now, and that's my final thought.
I'm having a good day... its very chill... thought I need to finish Plato's Republic sometime this weekend. I'm already in book 7.
I'm off to take a shower... and then I'll probably get back to either playing Sudoku or reading the rest of my book. That reminds me I need to finish eating lunch too. I have made a plan to loose one more pant size before october. I think I can do it. I just need to loose another 10 lbs... with my diet... as long as I stick to it... it shouldn't be a hard task!
Ok lates now! TA TA

PMS and the struggle with tears

PMSing isn't just a skip and play sort of thing. Its emotional and fickle. Its misunderstood and ignored. I just feel like crying for no reason right now. Maybe I'll cry because I'm so tired, and yet, I don't know why I'm tired. I had 8 hours of sleep last night. actually I think it was 7... that's probably why I'm tired!
Anyway... tomorrow my mom said she would buy me a magazine and groceries to make me less pmsy. It will be a better day.

On another note, I'm thinking about switching another class. I'm taking Ancient World right now... and lets just say its sucks really bad. I'm thinking about taking American Political Theory, which is offered in the same place. Its with Luther... who I have Congress and the President with him and he's AMAZING!! So, yay, if I decide to do this. I really don't like the teacher of Ancient World. He is ridiculous and he shouldn't be allowed to teach here. He is a typical scatterbrain historian... however, it makes it impossible to know what we are really required to do in his class. The teacher is completely random.

So, I'm going to go read my Greek homework! Lates!

Melting down

I guess I had an odd day. Its hard living up to an expectation, being forced into a mold and pressed into something when you aren't ready to make that step. I'm taking 6 academic classes, 5 of which are upper division and each with its own 10-15 page paper. And, I'm taking Greek, which in my mind should be an upper division because I'm going to be doing more work for that class all of the others. I should probably be doing homework right now. I already have an overwhelming amount of homework. I need to be well into Plato's the Republic... which thankfully I've already read half of before. On top of that I have plenty of other books I need to read on top of finishing my Greek homework (due Tuesday) and studying Greek. My teacher says that we need to study that class every day for atleast 15 minutes... but, he also said that if we only study for 15 minutes we won't get a good grade. So, I've been doing about an hour a day... which I can tell you, cuts a big chunk out of my homework time. I want to do well in Greek. I think I have the potential. Right now, I feel a little lost because it is so different, but atleast I have the alphabet down almost, and Jerry is in that Class... and that's exciting!
Anyway... I want to get cracking on my reading before I go to brunch with my roomies. Have I said I love them yet?

Yesterday, Erick and I went to Disneyland... that was great! Tomorrow is Erick and my 2 year anniversery!! I really can believe that we lasted this long. I knew we would. Through our rough times... things have always worked out... and, obviously, he was built for me and I was built for him!
Its kind of funny because we are so completely different... and the same in all the important ways.

ok I'm off to read! ta ta

Prayer

My goal for this year is to become a prayer warrior. What can be better than talking to my maker and pouring my heart out to him??

The Third Day

Things are going well... I'm really excited about what God has done for me. He has really blessed me with great roommates and a great RA. I'm so happy that we get along. They already like my friends. They really have gotten to know me... or are atleast trying to get to know me. I don't think my roommates ever got to me... nor did I ever get to know them. After much prayer, I have gotten over it. I've been praying that these roommates would be perfect for me... and that God would put them there to challenage me... and you know what? He made the most perfect girls in my roommates. Each one is so different and yet so compatible and amazing. Its only been like 3 days... but, I'm so happy thus far.
I went to church this morning. I'm remembering who I was before I fell into that rut last year. I'm so much better and happier... and it all could have been fixed days and days ago!
Before I came here, I made my peace. If I don't meet good chick friends... then I don't. I shouldn't worry about it because I have the best friends outside of school too. But, like I keep saying, I'm truly blessed.
The End(for now)

1 Timothy 1

"Fight well in the Lord's battles"

I'm reading my bible today... what really hit home was at the end of 1 Timothy. Keeping your consciences clear and with out violation. This has proven to be a difficult thing. I feel guilty for lots of things. Thing I have apologized for but mainly regret letting my maker down. Its hard sometimes because I want myself to be so much however, I am human with human characteristics. I have my will and my urges. I think really bubbles down to keeping your conscience clear... but what does that mean? I guess to me it means that if I feel guilty about something then I must be doing something... then that thing must be wrong, and when I finally break down and ask for repentance... I should remember that God is so merciful and so amazing that he forgives me. With that should be the end of my guilt. I should know that I have been forgiven.
Going from here is a very difficult task to do. I'm always stressed about something and always very anxious of being perfect.
I guess, the point God might be trying to pick out for me is that I need to not stress so much and just let things go.

CBU

I'm back on campus... and I must say its nice to be back. I've only been back for a day now... but, I'm so excited about this year. Its going to be so much better than last year. I already know. I was so worried about coming in here and being the odd man out... but, its not so bad. Sure, I don't know half the people they are talking about most of the time... but, that hasn't bothered me. Hopefully by the end of the semester I'll know them.

On another note, I had a lot of fun hanging out with Jason, Mike, and Erick yesterday. And, I got to talk to Brad for a brief momment... which was cool since I haven't talked to him since probably high school. He remember who I was "Jessika with a K" which was cute... and totally made my day.

Cliff should be getting back today sometime. I wonder when... now, I'm just thinking outloud... I'm waiting for Erick to probably wake up and turn his phone back on. It ridiculous... If you have a cellphone, don't turn it off! How can anyone get a hold of you?
I'll just count on him not going to lunch with me